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Uganda Is a Republic of Bananas and Enhanced Body Parts

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Written by Joe Wacha

Is it possible to tell a place and its people by just relying on what you see in an area? What would you make of Uganda?

A beautiful climate, tasty bananas, sizeable potholes, beautiful sceneries and people. But we also have lots of other things.

A quick look around the city and the many suburbs show posters complete with telephone contacts about manhood, boobs and hips enlargements. They are so many that they almost practically litter the city. A walk along the dusty streets also reveals a hunger to get wealthy first and fast. Books in sizes displayed for sale along the streets have titles on everything about how to get rich fast. They range from HOW TO GET RICH QUICK, HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY, STEPS TO SUCCESFUL BUSINESS, RICH DAD POOR DAD, and GUIDE ON HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY to BECOME WEALTHY TODAY.

If you take the messages from the posters and the publications seriously, it means there is an emerging or increasing trend for people to seek comfort in wealth, enlarged penis, boobs and hips because they have discovered or think they are what matters most.

If you are a woman, a little more money and a full volume of boobs and hips is perfect while a man only requires a lot more inches of the tool and he is good to go. What else?

A population with enlarged manhood, enhanced boobs and hips can only lay claim to one thing: sex and most certainly more children from the activity. But because the boobs are enhanced; they are unlikely to be used for breastfeeding the produced babies leaving them with only one purpose – exhibition. So, the unlucky children would most likely also become malnourished.

Maybe the initiator of the “manhood enlargement” adverts came up with this as their “get rich quick” scheme. And I imagine, if the advertisers had no clients, they would have given up by now. And because the attention is so much on the enlarged parts, it’s unlikely too that there would exist any fraction of love anywhere.

Gallup, an American research firm ranked Uganda at number 86 out of 136 countries in what they called “Global Love Ranking”, meaning it’s the least destination where anyone would expect to love or be loved. So, we cannot love, which means we also do not love. We have therefore been reduced to living creatures merely obsessed with enlarging their body parts, especially those that matter most – hips, boobs… Little wonder that today there are loads of boobs on display in the name of fashion and pants fitted with sponge around the bums and hips especially for ladies whose hips tell lies.

The American research organisation said it interviewed 1,961 people in Uganda on love and only 66 percent said they felt love. The survey conducted in honour of Valentine’s Day asked the question: Did you experience love for a lot of the day yesterday?

Certainly, we are too busy enhancing our body parts and spending the remaining time chasing after enhanced body parts to love at all. And when a country does not experience love between the couples, families, friends, etc then I guess it is worse that a banana republic.

It means that we not only have a large, impoverished working class and a ruling plutocracy that comprises the elites in business, politics, and the military, but also a whole lot of loveless, body-enhanced beings.

National Perspective VOL 073: Mystery Murders in the Central Region (Audio 30Mins)
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