Vote Me for President, I Am All for Corruption

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Written by Joe Wacha

Ladies and gentlemen, I am up for the next presidential race. I can’t wait for 2016 to get to State House! My manifesto is brief and simple; a One Point Program. I am all for ensuring that corruption grows to become a linchpin of our society. Am sure that like you, we all need easy money to spend whether in the casino, on gin and tonic or fueling a jet to deliver our babies in Germany. We all need the dime.

Over the weekend, I came across an interesting read: It’s Our Turn To Eat by Michela Wrong; the journalist who penned the story of John Githongo, Kenya’s anti-corruption activist who resigned his job from the safety of a self-imposed exile, in a classical hunter-becomes-hunted scenario.

The book, quite an interesting one, crossed my path at a time when corruption was for the umpteenth time, bearing not just the head but proving to all that it has safely secured a home in our country and is not in a rush to leave.
But then one does not need to read a book published by a British journalist to understand corruption in Uganda. The vice has become an inherent part of our system, which to me is the main point of concern.

Corruption has grown and matured to an extent that it has firmly sunk its roots in all the government departments and anywhere else there is money. From the State House to the Prime Minister’s Office, to the pulpits, there have been tales of how people have dipped their hands where they should not have strayed.

And, while a few have paid the price of humiliation that comes with repeated press mentions, trips to the court, free rides on the brown prison bus to Luzira prison and a few nights at the facility, others have had the luxury to eat their cake and have it too.

Why create and maintain an entire institution such as the Inspectorate of Government, the Anti-corruption Court and still keep serving us with a daily overdose of reports about theft done with impunity?

I am convinced that not a single act of corruption would survive in this country if the president demonstrated his desire for a corruption-free Uganda. The only few cases of prosecution that have occurred only seem to be attempts to punish political threats – people who appear to be building influences and therefore require to be reminded that only those in power and with power have the authority.

Corruption has turned out to be a valuable element of our society and there is no doubt that while the vice has left the hospitals with no medicine, it has seen the expansion of loyal powerful figures who struggle to ensure the regime remains afloat. The vice has become a deliberate strategy to cause an increasing middle class that sucks from the taxpayers to feed the system.

In an impoverished society, everyone looks forward to each new day with a single preoccupation: struggle and secure a meal or beg for handouts from those well-connected to the corruption network. The beggars remain eternally grateful to those with fat wallets.

So, ladies and gentlemen, on that day in 2016, be sure to cast your vote in my favor and together we shall loot. I will provide opportunities for you to steal so that your entire time is consumed counting and enjoying the loot. That way none of you would bother me about how you should be governed.

Vote me and I will create a ministry of corruption, to cater for your needs.

In : URN Blog

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